A few days ago, I finished Richard Reeves’ very good book, Of Boys and Men. It’s a compelling account of how far boys are falling behind girls in school, how unstable many men feel as women now compete with them in the workforce, and how, specifically, black men are facing uniquely troubling barriers to success. Reeves thinks the left should care about the plight of boys and men, and advance specific policies that help address the malaise that has befallen many American males.
I truly wish we had more US Senators like you. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful comments. There's a lot to digest in your piece; however, the biggest take away for me is: "We need look no further than Charlottesville, January 6th, the prevalence of violence against women, and the rising threat of domestic extremism to see the potential consequences of allowing this resentment to fester." In conversations with friends over the years about women moving forward in our society we also touched briefly on the consequences to men, but you really brought the latter forward and shone light on it. We could never have predicted these consequences. Personally, I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment about loneliness and the need for community to nurture and further one's sense of identity -- and that agreement is based on my own experience/journey. And we need multiple communities -- not just one. I belong to two 12 step groups and have still found the need to seek other communities b/c 1 community cannot fill all my needs. Hope that makes sense. One other thought: I think we need (and I don't know how this happens) to be taught how to be a part of a community -- and in a healthy way. I'm not convinced that we all know how to do that -- or perhaps some have forgotten after immersion into the false sense of community that social media offers; or forgotten for other reasons; or have never really known how. Those of us who grew up with addiction only knew a fractured and dismembered model of community. Thank you so much to you and your wife for raising such a wise young man; and thank you for all you do in the Senate; in your communities; and for all Americans. I appreciate you to the very fullest.
Wise words🙏Some of this truly started with Facebook targeting men with Cambridge Analytica. They brainwashed people especially men. They started to plant fake news and it worked. I have much of it. I saw it coming.
Then they used Fox News to drive the wedge home.
Literally, before our eyes, news articles that were absolutely nothing, were altered to make it look like minorities were undermining everyone.
The one that comes to mind was: "Muslims at Starbucks Serve Feeces" in England.
Endulge me...you will see how stealth this actually is.
With very little research, it was in England. And it was some workers that happened to be Muslim. No one was served feeces. A water main pipe broke in London and a small amount of water was contaminated. None of it was at Starbucks.
But they took real news and perverted it.
I watched this happen on Facebook. I tried to get some help. But men were being manipulated at such an alarming rate, that women created a group of thousands of women called "Wives of Deplorables". I was absolutely floored. 30-40 year marriages were now ending. Engagements called off. Men were glued to Facebook to get the next hateful lie and the next.
So on it went...torquing up the millions of Facebook people to hate.
This is called PsyOps in the military. It's russia who has been doing it. As Nikita Chrustroff said..."they will take America from within".
And they have. They were doing this to get good people to participate in an insurrection.
I tried to warn people. To no avail.
I have been an Influencer on Twitter and watched this come together sadly.
Anyway, no one should feel isolated or lonely. And yet they do.
I adore men. They think logically and are amazing debaters. I love discussing any and all subjects with men and debating back and forth. I always have. Most women aren't interested.
A huge portion of my closet followers on Twitter and now Threads are men. And they have taught me, literally everything I know about government and politics. I knew nothing.
Lastly, when you know people on social media. People that have fought to protect our democracy like I have...you meet amazing people. And when you join in...it changes everything. I am an original Resister and I manage the entire East Coast...all the states for DemCastUSA. We help people campaigning get elected and a million other topics.
I am @jakki2004 on Twitter for as long as it lasts. And on Threads/Instagram as jakkit2004
If you like community...we need your help. We are also part of @TeamPelosi which has been an honor.
Then imo this is an issue of critical thinking; who has been taught what it is & how to perform it & why it’s important.
Regardless of sex orientation, aren’t each of us responsible to disseminate what we read or hear? Too many humans across the globe have taken the opposite stance of complete helplessness, trusting in the word of friends, neighbors, & extreme political “news” brokers instead of doing the work of Fact Finding. I was taught early at home as well as school, that it was my responsibility to participate in politics by voting. I was taught to seek a variety of opinions other than my own even when I don’t necessarily like the counterpoints. I was taught to seek evidence based data.
I agree with the perspective of males in our society experiencing a psychological malaise (let’s face it, predominantly white men). That said, I feel like women & LGBTQ folks have been the prime focus of those issues & I would posit that it’s a far broader issue of population density resulting in more competitive work environments, & beyond. And it’s not men competing solely w/women for job placement, it’s men competing with men of a variety of cultures who Were Not here in the number they are now 50 yrs ago. Hence the GOP’s “appeal.”
So, if men are hardwired towards aggressive behavior & competition, why are they feeling emasculated now when Competing for jobs in today’s environment? And why should the US make policy changes to enable them to achieve? The best policies to solve these issues is education. Incentivize boys to be better intellectuals so that they have an even playing field. However, keep in mind that the current direction of our govt is education for those who can afford charter & private early education. So there will Always be a disparity. The GOP likes to keep their voting base as under-educated as possible.
We are the first generation without a war, where men are drafted and serve. Thus giving of themselves to protect our country.
That single factor puts the focus outside of ourselves. We all must work together to save our country and bring our men home.
That is not the scenario we have now.
I grew up with my Dad working late and a million hours. My Mom took care of us when we were young. And then she worked with my Dad. They had an Agency...The Albee Trieber Company.
I'm not going to say this correctly...so I'm just going to say it. I didn't realize the burden that men traditionally carry on their shoulders as being the father, bread winner and the person the family looks to for a stable life.
I never realized the burden until I had peoples lives that depended on me for their livelihood. It rocked my world. Suddenly, I had the responsibility of providing jobs, a workplace and payroll...week after week. I couldn't sleep. I couldnt misstep. I couldnt screw up. Otherwise I will loose my company and more importantly the jobs for my employees. I never knew what my Dad went through Senator Murphy. I was never "the man". It changed the way I saw my father in a great many ways. Life is no longer a game when you have that level of pressure and responsibily.
Like the Military and the way they are acknowledged...I think men should be acknowledged for their contribution. Often a thankless one. My Dad used to say "You don't know what someone's life is like until you walk in their shoes". Honestly, they are big shoes to fill. Women do it. My Grandmother brought up 3 little girls after my Grandfather was gassed in WW1.
Everyone is angry. Marriages split apart. And lord knows we didn't need covid.
So what I think is needed is a new challenge for men. And women and kids.
Something that brings all of us together as a nation and offers a benefit to work toward.
It has to do with being able to work toward free Medical & Social Security...both really excellent instead of how mediocre it is now. And having money to retire on. And not having the fear that it won't be enough.
I created this type of plan during covid. Because much of our stress in this country is that each of us won't have enough. Thus the jealousy and hatred of the "other".
When there is MORE than enough...no one looks over their shoulder. No one feels threatened.
Because honestly, having us all pull together keeps men alive a whole heck of alot longer. And that's what we really want. Dads, Husbands, Spouces, GranDads that live a long time. Not stressed out or feeling like they worked their entire lives for nothing.
Senator Murphy...people need to be in charge of their fate. The harder they work they should see a benefit. Not get layed off because of age. That's corporate Americas greed right there. And it's wrong.
We can change all of this. With some creativity and planning. We can all fill needs in this country and benefit from every hour we put in.
I believe making everyone feel necessary will also reduce crime.
It's time we started acting like a huge family. To live with gratitude at how lucky we are to live in this country. To create something no one can take away. And no one is a threat. Immigrants only help all of us...not tax our resources. Because in order to benefit...they need to be participants. They only add to our numbers...and the more Americans...the better we all do.
I will call you tomorrow at your office to set up at time to sit down and discuss my plan, if you are interested.
You can also message me on Twitter @jakki2004 or Instagram/Threads jakkit2004
I feel where your heart is going Senator Murphy...and I agree with you. We all truly just want to be happy, healthy and live good lives. I want that for all of US too.
Thank you Ray🙏I’m as about independent as a person gets. And yet when you step into the shoes of another (As Christ said) it changes everything.
No one tells you how much men suffer…when you’re a kid. You just look at your Dad and you want him to play with you!
In my Dads case his Mother was a psychopath…his Dad that he adored was not well. He had a wife and two daughters…and a business that relied on him 24/7.
And he had a heart condition.
He fought in WW2 and was very talented. So he went to Pratt Institute. He opened an Advertising Agency.
I couldn’t have done all this. No way.
All I can say is I took care of everyone and everything and it damn near killed me.
🌷We really do need to acknowledge each others efforts…and struggles and realize what heroes we really are. Men & Women. Yin & Yang.
Because what my Dad taught my sister and I to do…is what we needed to not be helpless.
I tarred the driveway. Shoveled the roof in a snow storm. Cut 8 cords of wood and stacked it. Floored the attic. Roto tilled the back yard to make it into a garden…and we made a Water Feature in the back yard.
I owned an automotive junk yard in the Hood and I’m studying to be an Interfaith Minister.
It is appalling how often social psychology articles are not analytically rigorous. Consider this statement: According to a study on the State of American Men, two-thirds of men feel that “no one really knows me well,” and almost 30 percent reported not spending time with someone outside their household in the past week. .IS this different from "men" (ages?) 50 years ago? Women (ages)? today?
I do think there are issues for young men today... we need to focus on the 15-30 age group...but there is no evidence that it is "fear of females" paralyzing" them. YOur son seems grounded: we should continue to get more acceptances for females and LBGTQ members; half the country is NOT where you are on these subjects. AND we should explore--with good data and perceptive intuition ---what is really happening with young males today. I"m not qualified to comment on whether delaying kindergarten a year is worthwhile, but I reject the notion that "competing with females" is the cause of the problem. For example, young men have career options that pay well if you don't go to college (construction, plumbing, etc.) and which have only miniscule opportunities for women. Half the women college grads are employed at jobs - post graduation - which don't require a college degree; imagine what their choices would be without that degree. It is time to approach this topic with more rigor and across all socioeconomic groups. You are coming at this with a (unintentionally) narrow perspective. And finally, there have always been two career families, or one-career with the mother providing all support. They just weren't in YOUR socioeconomic vision.
I attended law school from 1970-73. Some of the most intelligent, outspoken and forceful students were women. At least one of them has risen to be the President of the American Bar Association. I saw something happening then and as the father of three women I have been seeing it develop as they fought their way in their respective fields to become successful. My daughters faced discrimination, harassment and people not taking them seriously in their endeavors. They don't see themselves as victims even though they have faced the same challenges that men and other women have encountered. I've known some men who haven't been able to adapt to cultural changes. Some of them act and speak like victims. I really don't know what the government can do. It has to start in the family and the community. I fear that government policies that focus on helping men may just make them even more alienated because they will have to admit that they need help and to accept it. Or even worse they will become dependent on government support. I have repeated over and over again to my daughters that their lives are a consequence of their actions. Hopefully that has made a lasting difference with them and their families.
As a lifelong Democrat, I am appalled by the far left’s sanctimonious intolerance of heterosexual cisgender boys and men. It makes me want to leave the party. There is no mystery here. Boys and men in this demographic feel shitty because they are shitty. They are being told they are obsolete, outdated, racist, homophobic misogynists who cannot possibly have anything of value to contribute in our society because “their day is over”. It is tragic and disgusting that some of the loudest progressive voices in the Democratic Party feel they need to vilify one group to empower another. Thank you Senator, for having the political and moral courage to swim upstream and share your common sense and genuine concern.
And to address Ms. DeSilver’s comments below - helping boys and men feel valued will not negatively impact progress on LGBTQ rights or abortion rights, or any other rights. It is the job of our legislators to make all of our citizens lives better if they can (even men). Working with conservatives is not a crime - it is good government. Finding common ground is essential for a functioning legislature and perhaps it would happen more often, if our legislators could do it without being punished by their constituents.
Raising boys to be considerate, caring and creative is not the same thing as telling boys "they're shitty." This unnamed "sanctimonious intolerance" you speak of is a mystery to most: Mr. Murphy's wise understanding of the toxic nature of Charleston and January 6 is the point. Those men were told to be like that, to do those things: they learned them.
Raising boys to be fully human, in parity with girls, is the goal. Teach your children well, your father's hell, did slowly go by, as the poet said.
Why parity? Should we recognise biological differences? Males live shortler than women due to biological differences. Why should we ignore then that they are stronger and faster? Why should e.g. women sport be equal to mens when there are 10x more men than women in sports?
While I agree with much of what you say...I don't see the "far left" as holding such intolerant ideas. This is what they said about feminists in the 70's. They called us all kinds of names that were not true.
My first reaction was to say, wait what? Then, I finished the article and this is what ask myself, how can we do this without eroding the rights of women and lgtbq and minorities and immigrants because that is what is happening. Are we capable of this?
I get the point that the purpose and satisfaction of men's lives has diminished or been lost due to societal changes and the advancement of the rights and protections of others (women, minorities, LGBT). But isn't it possible if not likely that what some men are feeling is not really or primarily about their unique biology or history of being the provider and protector, but rather, their no longer being at the top of the societal hierarchy, particularly for white men? White men had ALL the privileges, power, voice, respect, money. It wasn't even questioned (by the majority, which were also white.) They are now having to make room for others, compete for those things with others, and they can't stand it.
I don’t think that women and other non-men getting rights necessarily diminishes men’s rights. But you’re right about men traditionally being in control of everything and everyone. I think it’s time to share power, it’s not a zero sum game. When you disregard women, you are not using the brain power of half the population.
Seriously, Chris? You spend time worrying about the plight of boys and men when women are losing their bodily autonomy and self-determination all over the country; you write a Substack essay on this while democracy is under existential threat, books are banned, and the teaching of factual history is criminalized? You worry about male "instability" while LGBTQ citizens are being demonized and teens are prevented from receiving life-saving medical care? And your proposed solution is to partner with social conservatives, who have brought us to this point, because they might support increasing the minimum wage? I have been a supporter of yours for years. I will withhold support and give my financial support to organizations that support the concerns I have addressed above. To say I am shocked would be an understatement.
I felt as though Chris made it very clear that this is not a binary choice. I’ve rarely seen a politician works so hard for women’s reproductive rights and the LGBTQ community. He says very plainly that we will never go back. From an empirical perspective, he’s quite right that men are having a problem. I don’t see him suggesting that we should board the Trump Train. None of us would do that.
I hope you’ll join me and continuing to support him. (FYI, I’m retired and living on the West Coast. I have no dog in this fight. I just think that this is very high-level, next level, thinking. These are huge, cultural changes that should not be taken lightly. We have to determine ways to negotiate the changes.)
Why should we care about the plight of men? “Haven’t men had enough focus already? Shouldn’t we fix problems for women and gay people before we go back to men again?”
Well, if you can’t care out of compassion for others, care out of enlightened self interest. To exaggerate the point in order to make the point, when women feel shitty about themselves, they develop an eating disorder. When men feel shitty about themselves, they pick up a lead pipe and go hit somebody with it. If ignored sufficiently, there is an element in society that will tear the whole thing down to revert to a more primitive state in which the physical strength of men is an advantage. Are we not already seeing this in the growing attraction to authoritarianism, not only in the US, but in the world at large? Senator Murphy is merely advocating for an early, proactive response to ensure we stay as far away from this outcome as possible.
Hmm. I wonder whether one is a man or a woman dictates the reaction to Chris' essay. I would ask how does one consider one half of a whole? The yin-yang of it. One might start by considering as I do the phrase "women and children" and what it means when it is said that women and children are dying whereever that might be. It's horrible that women and children are dying. That men are dying can go unmentioned. Do you see the comparmentalization of thought there? My left hand is dying begs the question what is happening to the rest of the body. At least how I think of it.
Senator Murphy said that both need to be dwelt with together. My 19 yr old niece told me most of the young males at her college (in liberal New England) voted Trump because they felt the republicans see them and the democrats don’t. If you don’t work both issues together you will lose the Gen.Z males to more conservatism and likely the next generation after that too. If you lose them the issues women have with conservative men will persist and never get resolved,
Hmm. I wonder whether one is a man or a woman dictates the reaction to Chris' essay. I would ask how does one consider one half of a whole? The yin-yang of it. One might start by considering as I do the phrase "women and children" and what it means when it is said that women and children are dying whereever that might be. It's horrible that women and children are dying. That men are dying can go unmentioned. Do you see the comparmentalization of thought there? My left hand is dying begs the question what is happening to the rest of the body. At least how I think of it.
Sure. I get it. Unfortunately in the middle of a broligarchy hostile takeover, I do not care. Above this post Is the picture of Dr. Borenpohl being forcibly removed from a public town hall in Idaho. By a bunch of men, who would not identify themselves. It’s a war on women. Always has been. I’m so f@@king tired of it:
Boys and men feel no hope, that’s what makes them shadow box. Nothing to work for, can’t move from mom’s, have to work 3 jobs for what? No healthcare, poor wages you can’t blame them. Then people like Trump and Muck come along and further enrage them. We really need to stop disinformation, it’s one thing to have ideas that are misleading but it’s another to let State media just take over. It’s makes men and boys violent and it’s aiming them at the wrong people.
"But to deny the biological differences is a plan to fail when it comes to finding policies that help both men and women. We are different, and thus gender-blind policies won’t always work."
We are different, Senator. Which is why trans identified men and women cannot be perceived and treated as being no different from the sexes they are parodying in human society. Not in schools, sports, prisons, etc. Not anywhere. Someone else's rights will always be diminished. Or simply taken away. Gender identity ideology and evolutionary biology are irreconcilable. Our bodies are sexed. Sex cannot be changed.
One of the reasons why men feel like people don't really know them well, is because they weren't taught to deal with their emotions, to have these conversations. They are taught to provide. My husband never talks about what he's feeling.
Another I believe is that men have this notion, that because they're men, they deserve. Women know they have to prove themselves at every turn, all day long.
I know men are incredible. I also know women are. Men: please stop comparing yourselves, individually do your best, that's what we women do.
Mr. Murphy, what you've written is accurate. I wish our citizens were at a point in time where they would really listen, and solve these issues. We first have to save our democracy. Maybe, if you got the message out that jobs will be on the chopping block in the Congress, Senate, and Supreme Court; once all the protections have been stripped away; their positions will also not be needed, when the king and his oligarchs can make all the rules. Time to make them think about the kick backs, and free health care they enjoy; it would evaporate; they'd be unemployed too. Maybe then, they'll start fighting again for their rights, and for the American people.
I truly wish we had more US Senators like you. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful comments. There's a lot to digest in your piece; however, the biggest take away for me is: "We need look no further than Charlottesville, January 6th, the prevalence of violence against women, and the rising threat of domestic extremism to see the potential consequences of allowing this resentment to fester." In conversations with friends over the years about women moving forward in our society we also touched briefly on the consequences to men, but you really brought the latter forward and shone light on it. We could never have predicted these consequences. Personally, I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment about loneliness and the need for community to nurture and further one's sense of identity -- and that agreement is based on my own experience/journey. And we need multiple communities -- not just one. I belong to two 12 step groups and have still found the need to seek other communities b/c 1 community cannot fill all my needs. Hope that makes sense. One other thought: I think we need (and I don't know how this happens) to be taught how to be a part of a community -- and in a healthy way. I'm not convinced that we all know how to do that -- or perhaps some have forgotten after immersion into the false sense of community that social media offers; or forgotten for other reasons; or have never really known how. Those of us who grew up with addiction only knew a fractured and dismembered model of community. Thank you so much to you and your wife for raising such a wise young man; and thank you for all you do in the Senate; in your communities; and for all Americans. I appreciate you to the very fullest.
Wise words🙏Some of this truly started with Facebook targeting men with Cambridge Analytica. They brainwashed people especially men. They started to plant fake news and it worked. I have much of it. I saw it coming.
Then they used Fox News to drive the wedge home.
Literally, before our eyes, news articles that were absolutely nothing, were altered to make it look like minorities were undermining everyone.
The one that comes to mind was: "Muslims at Starbucks Serve Feeces" in England.
Endulge me...you will see how stealth this actually is.
With very little research, it was in England. And it was some workers that happened to be Muslim. No one was served feeces. A water main pipe broke in London and a small amount of water was contaminated. None of it was at Starbucks.
But they took real news and perverted it.
I watched this happen on Facebook. I tried to get some help. But men were being manipulated at such an alarming rate, that women created a group of thousands of women called "Wives of Deplorables". I was absolutely floored. 30-40 year marriages were now ending. Engagements called off. Men were glued to Facebook to get the next hateful lie and the next.
So on it went...torquing up the millions of Facebook people to hate.
This is called PsyOps in the military. It's russia who has been doing it. As Nikita Chrustroff said..."they will take America from within".
And they have. They were doing this to get good people to participate in an insurrection.
I tried to warn people. To no avail.
I have been an Influencer on Twitter and watched this come together sadly.
Anyway, no one should feel isolated or lonely. And yet they do.
I adore men. They think logically and are amazing debaters. I love discussing any and all subjects with men and debating back and forth. I always have. Most women aren't interested.
A huge portion of my closet followers on Twitter and now Threads are men. And they have taught me, literally everything I know about government and politics. I knew nothing.
Lastly, when you know people on social media. People that have fought to protect our democracy like I have...you meet amazing people. And when you join in...it changes everything. I am an original Resister and I manage the entire East Coast...all the states for DemCastUSA. We help people campaigning get elected and a million other topics.
I am @jakki2004 on Twitter for as long as it lasts. And on Threads/Instagram as jakkit2004
If you like community...we need your help. We are also part of @TeamPelosi which has been an honor.
Namaste
Then imo this is an issue of critical thinking; who has been taught what it is & how to perform it & why it’s important.
Regardless of sex orientation, aren’t each of us responsible to disseminate what we read or hear? Too many humans across the globe have taken the opposite stance of complete helplessness, trusting in the word of friends, neighbors, & extreme political “news” brokers instead of doing the work of Fact Finding. I was taught early at home as well as school, that it was my responsibility to participate in politics by voting. I was taught to seek a variety of opinions other than my own even when I don’t necessarily like the counterpoints. I was taught to seek evidence based data.
I agree with the perspective of males in our society experiencing a psychological malaise (let’s face it, predominantly white men). That said, I feel like women & LGBTQ folks have been the prime focus of those issues & I would posit that it’s a far broader issue of population density resulting in more competitive work environments, & beyond. And it’s not men competing solely w/women for job placement, it’s men competing with men of a variety of cultures who Were Not here in the number they are now 50 yrs ago. Hence the GOP’s “appeal.”
So, if men are hardwired towards aggressive behavior & competition, why are they feeling emasculated now when Competing for jobs in today’s environment? And why should the US make policy changes to enable them to achieve? The best policies to solve these issues is education. Incentivize boys to be better intellectuals so that they have an even playing field. However, keep in mind that the current direction of our govt is education for those who can afford charter & private early education. So there will Always be a disparity. The GOP likes to keep their voting base as under-educated as possible.
We are the first generation without a war, where men are drafted and serve. Thus giving of themselves to protect our country.
That single factor puts the focus outside of ourselves. We all must work together to save our country and bring our men home.
That is not the scenario we have now.
I grew up with my Dad working late and a million hours. My Mom took care of us when we were young. And then she worked with my Dad. They had an Agency...The Albee Trieber Company.
I'm not going to say this correctly...so I'm just going to say it. I didn't realize the burden that men traditionally carry on their shoulders as being the father, bread winner and the person the family looks to for a stable life.
I never realized the burden until I had peoples lives that depended on me for their livelihood. It rocked my world. Suddenly, I had the responsibility of providing jobs, a workplace and payroll...week after week. I couldn't sleep. I couldnt misstep. I couldnt screw up. Otherwise I will loose my company and more importantly the jobs for my employees. I never knew what my Dad went through Senator Murphy. I was never "the man". It changed the way I saw my father in a great many ways. Life is no longer a game when you have that level of pressure and responsibily.
Like the Military and the way they are acknowledged...I think men should be acknowledged for their contribution. Often a thankless one. My Dad used to say "You don't know what someone's life is like until you walk in their shoes". Honestly, they are big shoes to fill. Women do it. My Grandmother brought up 3 little girls after my Grandfather was gassed in WW1.
Everyone is angry. Marriages split apart. And lord knows we didn't need covid.
So what I think is needed is a new challenge for men. And women and kids.
Something that brings all of us together as a nation and offers a benefit to work toward.
It has to do with being able to work toward free Medical & Social Security...both really excellent instead of how mediocre it is now. And having money to retire on. And not having the fear that it won't be enough.
I created this type of plan during covid. Because much of our stress in this country is that each of us won't have enough. Thus the jealousy and hatred of the "other".
When there is MORE than enough...no one looks over their shoulder. No one feels threatened.
Because honestly, having us all pull together keeps men alive a whole heck of alot longer. And that's what we really want. Dads, Husbands, Spouces, GranDads that live a long time. Not stressed out or feeling like they worked their entire lives for nothing.
Senator Murphy...people need to be in charge of their fate. The harder they work they should see a benefit. Not get layed off because of age. That's corporate Americas greed right there. And it's wrong.
We can change all of this. With some creativity and planning. We can all fill needs in this country and benefit from every hour we put in.
I believe making everyone feel necessary will also reduce crime.
It's time we started acting like a huge family. To live with gratitude at how lucky we are to live in this country. To create something no one can take away. And no one is a threat. Immigrants only help all of us...not tax our resources. Because in order to benefit...they need to be participants. They only add to our numbers...and the more Americans...the better we all do.
I will call you tomorrow at your office to set up at time to sit down and discuss my plan, if you are interested.
You can also message me on Twitter @jakki2004 or Instagram/Threads jakkit2004
I feel where your heart is going Senator Murphy...and I agree with you. We all truly just want to be happy, healthy and live good lives. I want that for all of US too.
Jakki T
you just brought tears to my eyes
Thank you Ray🙏I’m as about independent as a person gets. And yet when you step into the shoes of another (As Christ said) it changes everything.
No one tells you how much men suffer…when you’re a kid. You just look at your Dad and you want him to play with you!
In my Dads case his Mother was a psychopath…his Dad that he adored was not well. He had a wife and two daughters…and a business that relied on him 24/7.
And he had a heart condition.
He fought in WW2 and was very talented. So he went to Pratt Institute. He opened an Advertising Agency.
I couldn’t have done all this. No way.
All I can say is I took care of everyone and everything and it damn near killed me.
🌷We really do need to acknowledge each others efforts…and struggles and realize what heroes we really are. Men & Women. Yin & Yang.
Because what my Dad taught my sister and I to do…is what we needed to not be helpless.
I tarred the driveway. Shoveled the roof in a snow storm. Cut 8 cords of wood and stacked it. Floored the attic. Roto tilled the back yard to make it into a garden…and we made a Water Feature in the back yard.
I owned an automotive junk yard in the Hood and I’m studying to be an Interfaith Minister.
Thanks Dad🥰
It is appalling how often social psychology articles are not analytically rigorous. Consider this statement: According to a study on the State of American Men, two-thirds of men feel that “no one really knows me well,” and almost 30 percent reported not spending time with someone outside their household in the past week. .IS this different from "men" (ages?) 50 years ago? Women (ages)? today?
I do think there are issues for young men today... we need to focus on the 15-30 age group...but there is no evidence that it is "fear of females" paralyzing" them. YOur son seems grounded: we should continue to get more acceptances for females and LBGTQ members; half the country is NOT where you are on these subjects. AND we should explore--with good data and perceptive intuition ---what is really happening with young males today. I"m not qualified to comment on whether delaying kindergarten a year is worthwhile, but I reject the notion that "competing with females" is the cause of the problem. For example, young men have career options that pay well if you don't go to college (construction, plumbing, etc.) and which have only miniscule opportunities for women. Half the women college grads are employed at jobs - post graduation - which don't require a college degree; imagine what their choices would be without that degree. It is time to approach this topic with more rigor and across all socioeconomic groups. You are coming at this with a (unintentionally) narrow perspective. And finally, there have always been two career families, or one-career with the mother providing all support. They just weren't in YOUR socioeconomic vision.
Its made on purpose. They are lying to try to coupe the revolt of males.
I attended law school from 1970-73. Some of the most intelligent, outspoken and forceful students were women. At least one of them has risen to be the President of the American Bar Association. I saw something happening then and as the father of three women I have been seeing it develop as they fought their way in their respective fields to become successful. My daughters faced discrimination, harassment and people not taking them seriously in their endeavors. They don't see themselves as victims even though they have faced the same challenges that men and other women have encountered. I've known some men who haven't been able to adapt to cultural changes. Some of them act and speak like victims. I really don't know what the government can do. It has to start in the family and the community. I fear that government policies that focus on helping men may just make them even more alienated because they will have to admit that they need help and to accept it. Or even worse they will become dependent on government support. I have repeated over and over again to my daughters that their lives are a consequence of their actions. Hopefully that has made a lasting difference with them and their families.
We dont need help. We dont need support.
We just need education to be single sex again and not being controlled by women.
We need the same rules for men and women..not affirmative actions. Stop discriminating men.
We need a Government that does not promote false narratives incriminating all males.
You have 3 daugthers. Good.
I have a daugther and a son. They would have both be better 20 years ago than now.
As a lifelong Democrat, I am appalled by the far left’s sanctimonious intolerance of heterosexual cisgender boys and men. It makes me want to leave the party. There is no mystery here. Boys and men in this demographic feel shitty because they are shitty. They are being told they are obsolete, outdated, racist, homophobic misogynists who cannot possibly have anything of value to contribute in our society because “their day is over”. It is tragic and disgusting that some of the loudest progressive voices in the Democratic Party feel they need to vilify one group to empower another. Thank you Senator, for having the political and moral courage to swim upstream and share your common sense and genuine concern.
And to address Ms. DeSilver’s comments below - helping boys and men feel valued will not negatively impact progress on LGBTQ rights or abortion rights, or any other rights. It is the job of our legislators to make all of our citizens lives better if they can (even men). Working with conservatives is not a crime - it is good government. Finding common ground is essential for a functioning legislature and perhaps it would happen more often, if our legislators could do it without being punished by their constituents.
Raising boys to be considerate, caring and creative is not the same thing as telling boys "they're shitty." This unnamed "sanctimonious intolerance" you speak of is a mystery to most: Mr. Murphy's wise understanding of the toxic nature of Charleston and January 6 is the point. Those men were told to be like that, to do those things: they learned them.
Raising boys to be fully human, in parity with girls, is the goal. Teach your children well, your father's hell, did slowly go by, as the poet said.
Why parity? Should we recognise biological differences? Males live shortler than women due to biological differences. Why should we ignore then that they are stronger and faster? Why should e.g. women sport be equal to mens when there are 10x more men than women in sports?
No! I dont want parity! I want freedom!
While I agree with much of what you say...I don't see the "far left" as holding such intolerant ideas. This is what they said about feminists in the 70's. They called us all kinds of names that were not true.
Like the #KillAllMen?
Dont get confuse. He is not concerned about your or males in general. He is concerned about you voting Trump.
Will they make education single sex, or male friendly? Nop.
They will continue bolstering women while giving some peanuts to men (suicide and things that cost nothing to women) to coupe wirth the male revolt.
Trump and GOP has much more possibilitied to make male lives better than any Democrat.
My first reaction was to say, wait what? Then, I finished the article and this is what ask myself, how can we do this without eroding the rights of women and lgtbq and minorities and immigrants because that is what is happening. Are we capable of this?
No. Wanna more men at the Uni? So less women. Gender is a zero sum.
The problem is not that. The oroblem is that you believed that women or LGTB have special rigths.
Like affirmative action for instance.
I get the point that the purpose and satisfaction of men's lives has diminished or been lost due to societal changes and the advancement of the rights and protections of others (women, minorities, LGBT). But isn't it possible if not likely that what some men are feeling is not really or primarily about their unique biology or history of being the provider and protector, but rather, their no longer being at the top of the societal hierarchy, particularly for white men? White men had ALL the privileges, power, voice, respect, money. It wasn't even questioned (by the majority, which were also white.) They are now having to make room for others, compete for those things with others, and they can't stand it.
I don’t think that women and other non-men getting rights necessarily diminishes men’s rights. But you’re right about men traditionally being in control of everything and everyone. I think it’s time to share power, it’s not a zero sum game. When you disregard women, you are not using the brain power of half the population.
Accurate.
We are happy to complete with women.
But not with Soros or Melinda Gates putting millions in women agenda.
Nor with discriminatory action like DEI or women affirmative action. If you are on the top already, I assume you dont need anything else.
I just ran across this post. I am an admirer of yours and I agree that many men and boys in our country seem to be in trouble in various ways. However, one line in your post stood out to me. Reeses’s premise that throughout human history men have defined themselves as the breadwinners and protectors didn’t seem to square with reality. While this is true in the modern history of our civilization, there is much archeological and anthropological evidence that women in hunter-gatherer societies were not only gatherers, but also hunters. His male breadwinner assertion also minimizes the contribution of women to obtaining calories for the group by gathering, growing and processing food. Please read this article from NPR. https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/07/01/1184749528/men-are-hunters-women-are-gatherers-that-was-the-assumption-a-new-study-upends-i&sa=U&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjp1LSoppuLAxUgSDABHctTFM4QFnoECCYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw145_Qq_McumqQrTgylKhLo
Seriously, Chris? You spend time worrying about the plight of boys and men when women are losing their bodily autonomy and self-determination all over the country; you write a Substack essay on this while democracy is under existential threat, books are banned, and the teaching of factual history is criminalized? You worry about male "instability" while LGBTQ citizens are being demonized and teens are prevented from receiving life-saving medical care? And your proposed solution is to partner with social conservatives, who have brought us to this point, because they might support increasing the minimum wage? I have been a supporter of yours for years. I will withhold support and give my financial support to organizations that support the concerns I have addressed above. To say I am shocked would be an understatement.
I felt as though Chris made it very clear that this is not a binary choice. I’ve rarely seen a politician works so hard for women’s reproductive rights and the LGBTQ community. He says very plainly that we will never go back. From an empirical perspective, he’s quite right that men are having a problem. I don’t see him suggesting that we should board the Trump Train. None of us would do that.
I hope you’ll join me and continuing to support him. (FYI, I’m retired and living on the West Coast. I have no dog in this fight. I just think that this is very high-level, next level, thinking. These are huge, cultural changes that should not be taken lightly. We have to determine ways to negotiate the changes.)
Why should we care about the plight of men? “Haven’t men had enough focus already? Shouldn’t we fix problems for women and gay people before we go back to men again?”
Well, if you can’t care out of compassion for others, care out of enlightened self interest. To exaggerate the point in order to make the point, when women feel shitty about themselves, they develop an eating disorder. When men feel shitty about themselves, they pick up a lead pipe and go hit somebody with it. If ignored sufficiently, there is an element in society that will tear the whole thing down to revert to a more primitive state in which the physical strength of men is an advantage. Are we not already seeing this in the growing attraction to authoritarianism, not only in the US, but in the world at large? Senator Murphy is merely advocating for an early, proactive response to ensure we stay as far away from this outcome as possible.
We like suthotitarisim and phisical strength. Thats is what happens when you push males too far. You get a coup d'Etat
Welcome to the new world.
Ah, this is all dated. But a thought. Compassion is not a zero-sum game.
It is. Wanna more males at the Uni? You wil have less women.
The real problem is telling women the true: the real privileged social group are (and actually, have always be in some ways) women.
You will not need to move female lawyers to construction sites, and males from construction sites to the Uni.
Hmm. I wonder whether one is a man or a woman dictates the reaction to Chris' essay. I would ask how does one consider one half of a whole? The yin-yang of it. One might start by considering as I do the phrase "women and children" and what it means when it is said that women and children are dying whereever that might be. It's horrible that women and children are dying. That men are dying can go unmentioned. Do you see the comparmentalization of thought there? My left hand is dying begs the question what is happening to the rest of the body. At least how I think of it.
Senator Murphy said that both need to be dwelt with together. My 19 yr old niece told me most of the young males at her college (in liberal New England) voted Trump because they felt the republicans see them and the democrats don’t. If you don’t work both issues together you will lose the Gen.Z males to more conservatism and likely the next generation after that too. If you lose them the issues women have with conservative men will persist and never get resolved,
Hmm. I wonder whether one is a man or a woman dictates the reaction to Chris' essay. I would ask how does one consider one half of a whole? The yin-yang of it. One might start by considering as I do the phrase "women and children" and what it means when it is said that women and children are dying whereever that might be. It's horrible that women and children are dying. That men are dying can go unmentioned. Do you see the comparmentalization of thought there? My left hand is dying begs the question what is happening to the rest of the body. At least how I think of it.
Sure. I get it. Unfortunately in the middle of a broligarchy hostile takeover, I do not care. Above this post Is the picture of Dr. Borenpohl being forcibly removed from a public town hall in Idaho. By a bunch of men, who would not identify themselves. It’s a war on women. Always has been. I’m so f@@king tired of it:
Boys and men feel no hope, that’s what makes them shadow box. Nothing to work for, can’t move from mom’s, have to work 3 jobs for what? No healthcare, poor wages you can’t blame them. Then people like Trump and Muck come along and further enrage them. We really need to stop disinformation, it’s one thing to have ideas that are misleading but it’s another to let State media just take over. It’s makes men and boys violent and it’s aiming them at the wrong people.
"But to deny the biological differences is a plan to fail when it comes to finding policies that help both men and women. We are different, and thus gender-blind policies won’t always work."
We are different, Senator. Which is why trans identified men and women cannot be perceived and treated as being no different from the sexes they are parodying in human society. Not in schools, sports, prisons, etc. Not anywhere. Someone else's rights will always be diminished. Or simply taken away. Gender identity ideology and evolutionary biology are irreconcilable. Our bodies are sexed. Sex cannot be changed.
We are different. Women are wesker and slowler. So, sorry, you cannot have the in the police or army at 5o%
Why I believe men are feeling this way:
One of the reasons why men feel like people don't really know them well, is because they weren't taught to deal with their emotions, to have these conversations. They are taught to provide. My husband never talks about what he's feeling.
Another I believe is that men have this notion, that because they're men, they deserve. Women know they have to prove themselves at every turn, all day long.
I know men are incredible. I also know women are. Men: please stop comparing yourselves, individually do your best, that's what we women do.
We both bring assets to the table.
Yeah, well, men still have bodily autonomy.
Mr. Murphy, what you've written is accurate. I wish our citizens were at a point in time where they would really listen, and solve these issues. We first have to save our democracy. Maybe, if you got the message out that jobs will be on the chopping block in the Congress, Senate, and Supreme Court; once all the protections have been stripped away; their positions will also not be needed, when the king and his oligarchs can make all the rules. Time to make them think about the kick backs, and free health care they enjoy; it would evaporate; they'd be unemployed too. Maybe then, they'll start fighting again for their rights, and for the American people.
Yup a NAZI HAS OUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS! He can now erase any of history or say we owe, how ever they want to financially terrorize us.
It’s not bad enough it’s 9/11 EVERYDAY NOW!
WAKE UP MURPHY
GET MAD
GET A SPINE
STOP RUNNING DOWN WORD RABBIT HOLES!
Nazis are running America!